Friday, April 15, 2016

A year of being me and life on the road : )

A year of being me and life on the road : )

Well in less than 2 weeks time a big mile stone would of past for me

So what is the big mile stone that I speak of?

Well...  It's the one year mark of me starting my  transition going from the old unhappy me to the real (now happier) me  (regardless of what others may think of me)  starting life as a young transgender woman so in some ways it's like having a 2th birth day/date each year 

- as for the date? And why I chose that day - the day after Anzac day  I pick a date some how knowing that by having a set date it was one of the things that I needed to do for my self or else I would keep putting off my coming out to be the true me as I was scared of what others may think or do to me

Having the support of my friends as I was coming out and starting a new life was (and still is) a big help

Many people had said to me not to come out as transgender as "you would lose all your friends"  well that's how you find out who your real friends are - your true friends will still support you and for the ones that don't support you well they not your friends then  - in my case I did lose a few friends in that they no longer talking to me but even one else of my friends has supported me and I now have every more friends now then before : )

Some people including a few (well meaning) friends have told/asked me why I didn't stay the same and keep living the way I was - to me it was simply because I could no longer be that person and some how knew that if I had not change my life I would at some point in time tryed again to kill myself (like I came to so close doing on the night of my birthday last year)  - it's hard to explain to people the reasons - around 30-50% of transgender people will try or have tried to kill they selfs at some point in time (yes the numbers are that high - one of the reasons why having good support and understanding people around is so needed with some one being transgender)

So how did I start being me?

Well it's been many steps big and small - every thing from changing my name  to having a steep leaning angle and having to learn /unlearn many things (having 30 years of girlhood to lean about and chach up on) 

Having slowly put together a wardrobe of things to wear over the last few months until my change over day - over the last year getting a lot more things to wear including many nice or fun things to wear : ) - many from looking in 2th hand shops all over nz but also some new from shops and having given away /got rid of most of the things I used to wear as I would never wear then again as that is no longer who I am any more

Living on a bike on the road means having  a limited number of things that I can have with me - that said I like having at less some nice/fun and colorful things to wear (even to wear on the bike at times) the rest of my suff that I have to wear is stored at my mums place - have just swap out some of my summer things for winter things (as well as having a few things at a few friends places)  I do have a small bag of make up that I try to take with me when I can - make up if one of the fun things I'm still have a lot to learn about : )

Life on the road - it's been a bit of a crazy year for me as far as travel including doing cape reinga to bluff 2 times by bike including riding the tour aotearoa route so ending up in some very out of the way places in nz - I did spend time staying at a friend's place near taupo for about 8-10 weeks (not sure of the time frame or that) until I got back on road as the road keep calling me : )

People - most people have been ok with me being transgender - I am open about being transgender and many times get asked questions  - as long as people ask nicely I'm OK with doing questions and answers as long as they are respectful to me and not being stupid (as some tend to be at times) - a lot of it is lack of understanding or peoples religious beliefs - after answering people questions (no this is not a act I'm doing I'm not a drag Queen or performance  - I live as a woman (ie female) 24/7 - some times its a bit hard for people to get they Head around as the only time they seen or hear about transgender people is on TV or media - on a side note jokes /cartoons/fake story's about transgender people are not funny and can/do led to attacks on transgender people - I was attacked in taupo the same day that a fake story came out in the media about transgender people in sport - the person saw the fake story's then decided to take they anger (over what the fake story claimed ) out on the next transgender person they saw - in this case me (my voice tends to out me at times as being transgender)  - it's not the first or likely be the last time it's happened where some one reads a fake story or hears a joke then desides it's ok to hassle or attack transgender people

Bathrooms

From time to time I get asked what bathroom I use and it tends to come up when I'm staying at a Campground or other places over night  - for me I tend to use the womens bathroom as its a safety issue as if I try using the men's bathroom I get threaten (or people try to attack me) or made fun of or else people tell me I'm in the wrong one - when I use the womens bathroom no one says any thing and I have had no issues with any one else (it's not like any one can see me go) - it's mosty  transphobic People that think there will be a issue  - (let's face it - at some point in time you may/would of share a bathroom with a transgender person and never knew and had no issues) there's been a lot of talk in the media about transgender people using bathrooms - mostly miss information - the so called bathroom safely laws like in some states in the US - the only thing they do is put the lives of transgender more at risk  - transgender woman are not men in dresses (as the media seems to like to think) - as for the claim that some one will pretend to be transgender so they can pray on people in bathrooms I have never heard of a case in the US of that happening (do you think that some one who prays on others would be stopped by a sign on the door? Or by such a law? ) also where would transmen (female to male transgender people)  go?  - as for using the disabled bathrooms as some people have said - well there is not that many around also much of the time they gender (ie they on with the rest of the bathrooms) and last but not less they are for disabled people who need them (much like disabled car parking spaces) it's not something that many none transgender people even think about but bathroom can be a big issue when you are transgender

Being on TV

As some of you may know I was on TV last year where I talked about my traveling life, my disabilitys also about being transgender - from time to time I have people come up to me who saw me the TV show some times having a good chat about different things - many have called me brave or other such things  and thank me for being open about the things in my life - i never quite know what to think about such comments as I'm only me trying to live my life the best way I can

On the other hand it did put a big target on my back with me outing my self to the world on TV with some people trying to attack me or coming up to me to tell me I'm wrong to be who I am -saying things like am a danger to others Including children or I'm sick or other such things even had  death threats  aimed at me

 You know you are helping change the world for the better when you start getting death threats from people who don't want the world to be better for others

Facebook - one of the things I did was close down my old Facebook page and start a new one sending a pm message to everyone one who was on my (old) Facebook page saying what I was doing and to please friend me on my new Facebook page

On Facebook I get a lot of friend requests most of the time from people I don't know so I have a rule that if you want to friend me on Facebook you will need to say who you are as if I don't know you I most likely won't accept the friend request (it's a safely thing ) people can follow me on my travels Facebook page just by liking it : )

So what's next in my life?

I'm still traveling - I'm about to start a 6000 km bike tour around nz taking around 4-5 months

As for transgender suff - eveny day I lean more things

So did I make the right choice nearby a year ago?  To come out as transgender and start living full time as female?  

I would have to say yes - I still have my bad days but they are no where as bad or as offing as before - I'm a lot more happy in myself now that I took the mask and costume off (how I saw my old life - trying to hide my true self behind a mask and costume) its not been a easy journey but it's been well with it I'm  looking forward to life- the the next part of my journey where ever it may take me : )

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