Saturday, October 24, 2015

6 months - 180 day

6 months - 180 days

I'm now around 6 months in to my new life - a life of being true to myself regardless of what others may / may not think about me and what I do with my life - a life of taking off the mask and costume to become the real me (as odd as that may sound)

 so many things have happened to me in the last 180  or so days -some of then being - changeing my name - spending time riding my bike to different places in nz as a young transgender women - leaning about makeup (including getting some make up for the first time ) - leaning about different foot wear (including getting my first pear of heels : ) spending about 8? Weeks staying at one place at a friend's place near taupo - a big change with all the different clothes I now own and  wear - spending time in front of TV cameras for a few days then being seen on TV when the show was on TV / Internet (outing myself as some one who is transgender as well as talking about my disabilitys on the TV show) - time spent working on my book - making new friends but also losing some friends (but that is just the way things go in life)

as for how my family has taken it - some are ok with me - others in the family seem to dislike me now (so I had just decide to no longer have much to do with them as there is no point spending time around people who dislike me just because I'm now being the real me)

Yes I have lost friends by making the choices that I have made but I have also made more new friends after I had come out  and starter to be the real me (damiana) then I had before - for the friends that I have lost - I do not hold it against them that they are no longer friends with me as that is what they chose to do - perhaps in the future with more understanding they might go back to being friends with me but I'm not going to change who I am (and be unhappy) just to keep then happy - my life is what it is

As for how others have treated me - most of the time it's been ok - a lot of times of me  smiling and laughter ( more than in my old life) also tears - some times happy tears some times sad tears  but overall I'm a lot more happy in my self and would never want to go back to being the old me - even with having to deal with some people's mean or nasty comments that have been said about me or to me (I try not to let them get to me knowing it's then not me who have a problem but it's still a hard thing for me to deal with much of the time )

I do spend a fair amount of time talking to different people about what it's like to be transgender (and the up and down sides of it) as I have noticed that people tend to be more understanding onice some has expaned different things - even if I tend to get asked the same questions a lot - I can only speak of my own experience in being transgender just like I can only speak of my own experience of disability and what it's like

My depression and meltdowns have all most fully gone away - yes I still have bad days from time to time when things get to much but it's no longer anything like it used to be

At times its been a steep leaning curve and yet I have so much more to lean about and to look forward to in my new life