Seeing the world with fresh eyes
As I pack up my gear for my upcoming ride I'm thinking of some of the changes in my life and how I'm now seeing the world with fresh eyes now I'm being the real me not hiding my true self behind a mask - it's still early days for me and yet the last month or so has gone by fast as I worked on a long to do list (that never seem to end) some of the things on the list was fairly easy once I made up my mind what I was going to do - little things like getting new footwear (like my first pare of heels) and make up- other things like changing my name was a big pain - had to go up to Auckland and do a lot of running around for the paper work (partly as I have been living on the road for so long also not having up to date photo ID)
Do I have any regrets over making the changes in my life - well at this point in time I would say no as I'm now a lot more happy in life and my meltdown issues seem to have gone as well as much of my depression that I have been battling with for many years
It is not a easy path that I'm talking but for me it's the only one I can take - there can be so much hate at at times on the Internet with people Giving they own 5c worth of how they think some one else should be living they life - yet at the same time there is a lot of support for people on the Internet who choose to live the real them regard less of what other may think - for me I just don't have the time to put up with people who disagree with my life choices and who try to tell me how I should be living my life - its my life so its my rules on how I live it - yes some people that I had called friends are no longer talking to me - that is OK with me as I know some will never understand so I will just move on in my life and live it the best I can
I don't tend to look at news papers or other news places like TV in that I don't really care what some pop star is up to or what some sports team/person is doing - same with Facebook and the rest of the Internet - it has its users but much of it is a waste of time - this is my view in that I would rather go out and see the world in person and met other people then look at a tv/Facebook all day like many seem to do
Some have asked me why I made the changes (and why I couldn't just stay the same as before) I have and what the difference is- for me it's a bit like saying what the color blue is to some one who was born blind in that it's a different reference point I guess it's one of those things where people who know can't explain it and people who don't know will never understand it
I have spent many years looking for a place to call home - for now the road is my home (where ever it may take me)
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