A 5 year look at my life

What's been on my mind latey   

                                 A 5 year look at my life -at the very least around every 5 years or so I spend some time looking at my life - what I have done and what I would like to do with my life but also taking a hard look at myself - seeing if I am being the real me - so what do I mean by that - the real me is who I am and what I want to do in my life not just what others (well meaning (or otherwise) think I should be and do with my life- are my goals in life my own or are they more things I do partly so others may like me better - it's a easy trap to fall into and a hard one to get out off at times partly as many people like things staying the same ( what they are used to in life) -  I know as I have at times in my life falling in to that trap -  part of why I have the reviews in my life so I don't stay in the trap )

As people just want to fit in and be like by others (even by doing that they may not be happy they self because it's almost like putting on a act at times to so called fit in)

so one of the only ways to be truly happy is to be true to  your self - some times one can stay the same other times some change is required for a person to grow -  change for many is never easy but still needs to happen

Being the real me may make others unhappy or even angry at times ( we get told not to rock the boat) but it's the real me not me playing a part to "fit in"  or to be liked  (as has happened at times In my past)

For me some of the things that was up for review and have been worked out in the last 3 months or longer -

are taking photos (partly why do I take photos and what I do with the photos that I take)

Horse events - do I keep going to then and why do I go? ( is it party to play back some how all the help that the riders have given me over the years like the bike and tent? Or is it just some thing I done for so long and so keep doing because its just part of my life and may need changing (at this point in time I'm not that happy at many events - do I go because I want to or is it more because others ask or I feel I have to go and help because of the bike and tent thing )

My bike riding - where do I want to go with it and why do I ride - more fun rides, longer ride or even less maybe riding?

My nz walk - looking at why am I doing the walk and do I still want to do the south Island leg? ( can I still even try the south Island part with the way my heath is now? )

There are other things in my life going on what I won't talk about on this post

Many goals that I had - have been taking off my list of goals (my to do list)  why?  Well after thinking about it for some time - long walks give much time to think  I decided that they was not so much my goals as much as ideas that others have done or talked about (some of then things people wanted me to do because " they" thought it would be a good idea for me to do them things

 other goals are off the list because I just will never have the income to do then no matter what I do (things like the Iron man or coast to coast race also taking part in para-dressage ) - I don't like people paying for stuff for me partly because I feel I really can't pay it back in any real  way

So for now my to do list has very little (if any thing) on it after horse of the year show