Been a rough day - some thoughts on the last few days for me

It's been Rough day today for me emotionally and mentally though I try not to show it - I'm still miss reading people far to much and forgetting things /making mistakes (including with things that people tell me) also my energy levels are still all over the place as well as the thing for planing and doing different tasks /jobs is not working so well (even worse than usual) -im not sure whats going on there and what I can do about it as some of it appears to be what I deal with for at least the last few years but some of it appears to be new?

- might be head injurie suff or maybe dyspraxia related (dyspraxia is ever changing including short and long term so as some things do get easier other things do get harder to do or deal with ) - Note to any one that makes jokes about head injury or about the other health problems I deal with  - a)  its not funny when you have to live with it and b)  you not helping in fact you are making it worse as your jokes and lack of understanding  tends to make it harder for people (like me) who need extra help to get it when they need it

Body dysphoria - this is related to the transgender side of my life and some days can hit me pretty hard (like today when it was really messing with me ) -( the gender missmach of the gender different between my body and my head, heart and soul that is a large part of being transgender for me (different transgender people have different levels /thoughs on it ) its  not something I can reary talk about to others as like many things that relate to being transgender it's something that most people (ie none transgender people) will never begin to understand and it's hard to explain dealing with it as there is a different in reference points - it's one of those strange things of people who know can rarely explain it and people who don't can never really understand what it's like to deal with (partly because for none transgender people they body/head/heart ands soul do Mach up as far as gender go) -- it's just another thing to deal with /find ways to help deal with it - not the easiest of things

living in/being part of the transgender world - some of my um well meaning friends has told me I should be spending less time / effort on transgender issues /suff  - well here's the thing about me being   transgender - it's some thing of a lifetime thing and it effects just about every thing in my life is some way (even before you go into the hormone therapy /surgical side of things) - even thing from dealing with people to what I wear /how I wear it, even going to the bathroom (tends to be a big issue) where I can Stay, any jobs that I do, what I buy/how I shop, the news /suff I followed on line, the issues I face as a young transgender woman, even how I do suff on the bike, my safety - I'm only in the first 2 years of  being out as the real me after being hidden for so long so I'm always learning and having to learn new things every day (I have 30 some thing years of learning to chach up on)  - so as you can see its  not something that I can just put to one side and forget about

- this is the first time I spent any real time staying in one place in a city (the other time I spent off the road have been staying on some ones farm or lifestyle block so mostly out of the bigger towns/cities )  one of the main things that I'm noticing is that there is still a long way to go in the understanding and support of disability people and also the understanding and support of LGBT+ people - yes people both in nz and world wide have come a long way but there is still a long way to go and many battles to fight for - so yes if I stand up for disabled rights and support and for LGBT + rights and support that is my choice to do so - to help fight the battles even if it means dealing with more people who hate me / discriminate against me  (and others in the disabled /LGBT + world) on a near daily basis - including having to  deal with odd death threats (including a few attempts on my life) because if people don't stand up and start demand change and then keep pushing for it- things don't change and the world goes backwards in care and support for every one

Photo of new bike : )

Hi everyone here is a update on the last week or so : )

Hi everyone - here's a update on the last week or so -

My round nz bike tour is on temporary hold because of bike issues with my bike Friday  (I'm just taking things day by day so I'm not sure when I'm back to living on the road by bike : ) - the front hub has wore out (the bearing races in the hub is suffed so it now just eats ball bearing so it needs a new hub - also would need a new rim as the rim has heavily wear from the rim brakes (at some point I may upgrade to disk brakes so the rims don't wear out from using rim brakes  (the back rim is the same - with the bearing not much better ) to get a new front wheel for the bike Friday is at least $415 and at lest the same for the back wheel also the bikes headset needs replacement at $100+?
 And last the not less a new chain and maybe a new carset (the gears on the back)  so that's around $80-160 as well  - that's on top of the around $800 +?  I owe the bike shop in Hamilton for other parts/work done on the bike  - it's mosty just wear and tear on the bike from the type of riding I do and the number of Km I do each year (around 8000 km of touring in the last year alone on my bike Friday)

I do have a Mt bike that is my back up bike - that also needs work /parts after I used it on the tour aotearoa route also it dont really fit me very well and I do have other issues with riding it (part of why I have a hand made folding bike) so what am I riding with the bike Friday down for repairs and the Mt bike also out?  Well that's the next bit of news :  )....

Thanks to a friend I now have a new (well new to me anyway : ) bike to ride. So what's the new bike one may ask?   It's a 2002? hase kettwiesel recumbent delta trike-its a little hard to describe - (one wheel in front /2 wheels in the back with the right side back wheel being the drive wheel (ie the drive chain runs to a 7 speed freewheel that spins the right side back wheel) the bike is around 85 cm at the widest point (between the outside edges of the back wheels when they touch the ground (the back wheels are at a angle so it's around 75 cm at the top of the back wheels /fenders (the fenders are needed on a bike like this so there's less chance of injury from the rider touching the tires when moving as the rider is sitting on the recumbent seat between the back wheels on this bike

- the seat on this bike is lower then on a df bike  (the most common type of bike) but not super low to the ground like many other recumbent bike can be - though one of the first things I did was to make a larger (and more colorful : ) flag so it's more easy to spot the bike even on busy roads /traffic  (I get even more room on the road now with the flag when on this bike then I get when riding on my bike Friday) as for night use the bike is well lit up with 2-3 back lights (the bike has a tire dynamo power rear light /front light (the front light needs a new light bulb thought) in front I'm running a high power font light that attached to the front pannier rack (the rack off my bike Friday) as well as a small head light on my bike helmet  -

the  bike is made in  Germany (I think by the law over there most bikes have to have lights?)  so what's the drive chain/gearing like on the bike?   Well as it stands now the back 7 speed freewheel ( yep it's a free wheel not free hub like most more modern bikes as that was what was in use at the time (more modern (hase) kettwiesel bikes do run a mix of drive chains including 9 speed carset ( freehub?)  the gear teeth on the back are 11,12, 14,16, 18, 24,  32 with a grip-shift type gear shifter and in front is odd?  Crankset with 2 chainrings (40, 53)  but no front derailed - you change front gears by moving the chain with a hand/foot?  -front gear set /chain line setup appears to of been done after the bike left the factory in Germany but before the bike was sold from a bike shop in nz km friend got the bike new around 2003? With it not having much use in the last few years so it's in great condition
on a side note  the ( hase) kettwiesel bikes are offen set up with hand crank's as a hand bike for disabled riders with the factory selling the hand crank's and other accessories for disabled riders

The brakes on the bike are on the back wheels - there is no brakes on the front wheel partly as with the front wheel being lighty loaded it works better with the brakes on the back wheels - this 2002? bike has odd looking v-brakes with the out side brake arms being fixed (so it works a bit like cable disk brakes on many Mt bikes)  - having taken the bike up to 60 + km/h down hill a few times I find the brakes work ok (keeping in mind the bike is 14 years old - more modern (hase) kettwiesel bikes have disk brakes

The wheels on the bike are 20" wheels (406 size - the same as my bike Friday : )  currently running 1.25 " tires  -i  will have to have a good look at the fenders to see just what tires I can run on the bike  (ie how much space there is between the tires and the fenders)

Lastly weight - I have no idea how heavy it is - around 17 kg  (recumbent trikes do tend to weigh more then other bikes)  but then again weight is the less of my worries when riding : )

So what is it like to ride?

In short it's great fun to ride -  it does take time to get use to how it rides and what the limits are with the handling (including some times getting it up on 2 wheels going around bends : )as for comfort this bike is very comfortable for me to ride - even  on my bike Friday I still have pain/numb issues in my hands and shoulders (mostly from old injuries including from getting hit by a truck on the bike in 2008) as there no weight on my shoulders and Hands the old injuries are not so much of a issue when riding this bike  - I have had knee pain a few times on this bike but it's still early days with a some what difference way of pedaling and it may be a knee alinement issue in my legs  (some thing what I had for many years partly caused by how I walk (dyspraxia? Issues)  on a side note with it being a 3 wheel recumbent trike  my balance   issues are not so much of a um issue : )  as I don't have to worry about the bike going from under me including at slower speeds climbing up hills  : )  and it's very easy to get on or off - I do have a loop on one of the brake leavers to act as a park brake so the bike don't roll away on a slope : )

The rest of my planning for the taupo ride is now mosty done - what's a good thing as the date of the start of my ride gets ever closer : )   and my todo lists as getting shorter - well they was until I got the (new)  bike as it added a lot more this on to the todo list - I'm hoping to have the bike Friday bike back  to being able to be use for riding before the taupo ride - thought at this point in time I'm not sure what  bike I will be using the most on the taupo ride

Training for the taupo ride is going ok - not great but ok - I did have some time a few days ago when I was unable to even ride a bike (disabilitys related suff-it happeneds from time to time with me)  I did get in a 75 km ride on Wednesday?  That went ok  (well the first 15 km was not good with me finding it very hard and wanting to turn around and head back to my friends place where I been staying  but I keep riding knowing that if I did give up and turn around it would mean that it would be all to easy  to give un/in when  having a hard/bad days when  I'm doing the taupo ride  - I think my next training ride is today - well after I first fix a flat tire on the bike and do a few other things to it as I work out the best setup/what to take with me when riding : )